tug of wars and teeter totters.

so taylor. i love school (especially being back here after being abroad and then home for the summer). i missed dorm life and friends and handy andy runs and paynes and chapel and yes, the cornfields.

in some ways, being back on campus is like riding a bike. i pick up where i left off and the transition is relatively seamless (except that this time, i'm re-entering the taylor life as a junior, an UPPERCLASSMAN. i sometimes have to remind myself because that is JUST.SO.WEIRD.). mostly, i love being back. but being back means i'm missing something else. the flipside of the coin is that i miss ireland. immensely. i figured i had the whole summer to prep myself, to sort of "get over" missing it. but there's really no "getting over" an experience that changed me and a country that holds such a dear place in my heart.

so i currently have this little tug of war going on in my heart... loving taylor, missing ireland... agh. i know i can't have both. i think God's teaching me a lesson in letting go right now, because as beautiful as those 4 months were, they are over. i can still remember and laugh and look at pictures and share memories... but i'm here now. and i need to really "be" here, you know? i'm only a junior once. i need to embrace it and live it up.

but... that's kind of hard when classes are kickin my booty. every minute of every class, i am reminded that i am an upperclassman. they're hard classes anyway, but taking them after my ridiculously easy "irish courseload" is a double whammy. and along with my 16 credit hours and my 2 jobs, i'm trying to squeeze in a social life... easier said than done. not to mention that now i have all these different "groups" of friends... my ireland friends, my old wingmates, my new wingmates, my brother, my graduated friends... trying to manage my time this semester is a bit like a teeter totter.

this makes me think of a verse i discovered during a quiet time on those big rocks by the greystones harbor:

"BE TO ME A ROCK OF REFUGE, TO WHICH I MAY CONTINUALLY COME." -PSALM 71:3

God is always there, just waiting for me to come to him. again and again and again. when i start to get overwhelmed, when my heart starts the tug of war thing, when managing my time becomes the teeter tottering act, i really try to remember that. i even wrote it out and stuck it on my wall to remind me. hopefully i'll get this down soon?

sweet weekend.

a few things that made yesterday SWEET:

1. having a brother floor (my first in my three years at taylor!) and hanging out with them.
2. putt-putting.
3. chipotle.
4. seeing hootie and the blowfish in indy.
5. knowing the next day (today) would be school-less.
6. realizing that the cards SWEPT cincinnati and are now .504.

it's been a pretty stellar weekend.

good old taylor.

so i'm working the olson hall front desk tonight when three women walk in. they're taylor alums visiting from chicago. (i'd guess they were in their mid 30's.) they were going into marion with their friend (our new hall director), and while they were waiting for her, we got to talking. one of the women is a former first norther (which, although i'm not living there this year, will always be a place dear to me). they kept talking about how many memories are wrapped up in this campus/area for them. they said when they were juniors here, mi pueblo opened and became "THE place" to go. "so much has changed," one of them said, "and yet... it's still taylor." they said they had to laugh when they pulled off highway 69 and saw a starbucks in gas city. "NO WAY!" they laughed.

this got me thinking. what's taylor going to be like in 10 years? 20? i know it will change, but i'm sure it will still be taylor. you know what's funny? i spent 5 minutes talking to these women (i don't even remember their names), but we had a common bond. it was unspoken, but it was so real. i heard it in their laughter and i saw it in their eyes as they reminisced. though separated by years, we were all taylor family. i love that. no matter what changes in the next few decades, i'm confident that taylor will always be "home."