agh.

probably my least favorite question ever: "so, what do you want to do with your life?"

annoys the crap out of me. but what's worse: if someone's not asking me, i find myself asking the same horrible question to my friends.

why? i don't know. but i think i've asked it 3 times today.

the truth is, i think i'm scared. maybe because i have friends who have already graduated and started lives in "the real world." maybe because i have friends who are engaged. maybe because i have friends who are MARRIED. maybe because i really don't know what the heck i want to do with my life. maybe because i get nervous when i think too far beyond tomorrow.

i wish decisions could just happen effortlessly and my life could just fall into my lap.

i know that's next to impossible. ...it's too bad anyway.

divided heart.

lately, i've been having a hard time appreciating christmas. this is weird for me. i'm one of "those people" who loves EVERYTHING about christmas. i love the blustery weather, the smell of christmas cookies, picking out (or in my case, usually making) just the right present, CHRISTMAS MUSIC, starbucks holiday drinks, christmas movies (HOME ALONE), decorations and lights... i even love the phrase "merry christmas." but lately, for some reason, i've been hung up with the fact that some countries (heck, even some families in the united states) will not have perfectly wrapped presents with shiny bows underneath their christmas trees this year... if they even have christmas trees. (am i being depressing enough for the day before christmas eve? yeah? ok, sorry.) it's just that i'm having a hard time appreciating it all fully when i know that some people have so very little. and some people, just have little to celebrate.

i don't know why this has suddenly hit me this year. it's not a fleeting thought, either; it keeps coming back to me. perhaps it has something to do with being more "globally minded" (which studying abroad has definitely done to me)? i don't know. but it's something i've been praying about... because i can't get it out of my heart and my mind. overall, our country is so extravagant... (and i guess that bothers me?) i want to enjoy christmas and to rejoice. and i have... and i will... but in the back of my mind, my heart breaks for those who have so little.

hmm.

sorry for being such a debbie downer, haha. i'm afraid it's all i've got right now.

don't worry, i'm alive!

it's been brought to my attention that i've been slacking here. (thanks, suz!) and it's true. so i decided it's time to give you a little update on the happenings of blake elizabeth.

there isn't much else to update you on. i've lived and breathed projects this past month. i guess i'll give you some picture goodness instead. i'm not feeling my writing vibes tonight.

recap via pictures:

the heat went out. beyond our smiling faces, our teeth were chattering...

naturally, to warm up, we did an ab workout.

festive, no?

silent night!

christmas karaoke @ the hollipalooza with the president, his wife, and our student body president!

ok. more to come when i'm less braindead.