Sunday, December 23, 2007

divided heart.

lately, i've been having a hard time appreciating christmas. this is weird for me. i'm one of "those people" who loves EVERYTHING about christmas. i love the blustery weather, the smell of christmas cookies, picking out (or in my case, usually making) just the right present, CHRISTMAS MUSIC, starbucks holiday drinks, christmas movies (HOME ALONE), decorations and lights... i even love the phrase "merry christmas." but lately, for some reason, i've been hung up with the fact that some countries (heck, even some families in the united states) will not have perfectly wrapped presents with shiny bows underneath their christmas trees this year... if they even have christmas trees. (am i being depressing enough for the day before christmas eve? yeah? ok, sorry.) it's just that i'm having a hard time appreciating it all fully when i know that some people have so very little. and some people, just have little to celebrate.

i don't know why this has suddenly hit me this year. it's not a fleeting thought, either; it keeps coming back to me. perhaps it has something to do with being more "globally minded" (which studying abroad has definitely done to me)? i don't know. but it's something i've been praying about... because i can't get it out of my heart and my mind. overall, our country is so extravagant... (and i guess that bothers me?) i want to enjoy christmas and to rejoice. and i have... and i will... but in the back of my mind, my heart breaks for those who have so little.


sorry for being such a debbie downer, haha. i'm afraid it's all i've got right now.

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