So... I got accepted to Mars Hill!!! As this is now more of a legit option (than when I was just mulling the thought around), I've gotten to thinking quite a bit. And reading. And praying.
I've started meeting with a dear friend, Mary Jo, for coffee and book discussion (Dan Allender's To Be Told). She has 65 years of life under her belt. She's wise and honest and real. And I love it. We discussed the first chapter today.
In addition to learning about what it means to engage in my story and to discover connecting patterns and themes, we discussed tension and tragedy. Allender writes, "Comfort is the absence of tension; growth requires a swim in murky, dangerous waters. We want adventure, but not without assurances that we will suffer no harm when we take risks... But life isn't like that. There are no safe risks. There is no growth that comes with a guarantee of success. Tension is the medium in which we breathe everyday."
Right now, I feel like there's this crazy tug-of-war going on in my mind and heart. My mind is practical and can be resort to being ok with comfort and safeness. But my heart craves adventure and risk and challenge and the unknown. And in addition, I'm trying to remember that there is more to big decisions than just a list of pros and cons... I might need to look a little more at the big picture and overarching "themes" of my life, too. As Allender says, "A merely good life reveals little beyond the fact that goodness exists, but a life that knows its plot, characters, setting, dialogue, and themes will possess a clear and abiding passion that reveals something unique about the Author."
I keep hearing about risk. The ENTIRE sermon last Sunday was about risk-taking. I'm trying to be open to what God wants... I've put my listening ears on. And in the midst of this "tension," I'm trying to set aside time to quiet my heart. I sat out on our back porch this morning to read and drink my coffee and to watch the leaves wiggle in the breeze. It was so needed.
In addition to finding out about MHGS, I found out today that I have my first job interview! (It's shaping up to be quite a week.) It's in Chicago this Thursday. The organization asks for a 3-5 year commitment.
So, hellooo, risk! I think we will be getting to know each other very well very soon.