This week has been kind of a big one as far as decisions/productivity/developing some serious faith. It feels like it should be at least Thursday...
Yesterday, I decided that Mars Hill for this fall is a no-go. I kept clinging to these little threads of hope... but I finally had to just acknowledge that it's not possible right now. It was hard, but probably the "best" decision, as much as I hate to say it. I kept wrestling with finding the balance between making the "wise" decision and taking the proverbial "leap." I know that most decisions in life, we aren't sure about. We aren't supposed to be. So that part of me wonders if I should have just jumped and gone for it. But then I think about all the reasons I said no, and all the uncertainty I/others felt, and it makes more sense. I just wish I knew sometimes what God was "calling" me to do... really clearly and specifically. I kept thinking he was calling me to Mars Hill... and maybe he was. And maybe he is/will. But I don't know. Will I ever know? I'm really trying to listen... trying to be open... It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I don't think I'm doing so great.
After I reluctantly sent in my letter of intent to Mars Hill, I spent the rest of the day job hunting. I applied for a few jobs and followed up with a few people. I ended up scheduling an interview for today and tomorrow! However, today's interview seemed really sketch... They found my resume on Monster.com and I just got a weird vibe from them. I got up early this morning and researched the company a bit... they're an insurance company that doesn't pay a salary or give benefits... it's 100% commission. I guess I could have gone to "get the experience" of the interview for the heck of it... but decided to spend my time wisely. So I called and canceled and came to Starbucks for "Free Pastry Morning" instead. (A much better use of my time, right?) Don't worry... I have another interview tomorrow that I promise I will go to. :) (Sidenote... at some time in my life... I don't know when... I WILL be a barista. I have to.)
But Hilton Head was great! Good, sweet family time. A nice mix between laughing and relaxing... and forgetting all job-related things for a week. Heaven?