Sometimes I'm such an idiot that it makes me laugh.
Today was Monday. (Strike one.) I had a bad attitude. (Strike two.) I... could keep going. But I will spare you. It just wasn't the greatest of days... right down to the moment I was pulling out of work (where you can never really see either way, due to rush hour traffic and parked cars) and an SUV came out of no where and LAID on the horn... a few unnecessary seconds longer than a normal honk, if you ask me. I swore. I was annoyed and hot and flustered and tired.
While driving home, brow still furrowed, I pulled into Tilles Park. (It was a complete whim; I never go to Tilles Park.) My arms just turned the steering wheel and suddenly, I was in the park, in search of the swings. (Naturally... because when you are mad at the world, there is nothing like a good, liberating swing with the wind in your face.)
I found the swings, but there were children. On every single swing. I muttered "dammit" under my breath. Then stopped. They were children... bright, happy, shiny, beautiful, innocent children enjoying the swings... that are technically for them anyway, I guess. I was all in a huff about who-knows-what. Unimportant things. I took a deep breath, and without warning, started laughing at my pathetic self. It was weird. I decided to loop around the park and calm down.
I took in the lush greenery and bright blue sky above me and the sun that pierced through the clouds... and all of the people, young and old, enjoying life. It was all so startlingly fresh and good. And in that moment, I was thankful. And then I was ok.
When I struggle, I'm usually forgetful. I forget how blessed I am. I forget how OK I am. I forget that even though this season of life is new and hard..ish... that I will be ok. Beginnings are hard, but we make it through. It only takes a glance around or a glance behind to see where God's brought me from. He's faithful. I am and will be ok.